


Not All It's Quacked Up to Be

by lasersheith



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Puns, Fluff, M/M, far too many people in duck costumes, i make fun of furries a little bit sorry y'all are valid i'm just mean, ice cream disasters, side pairing: hidge, the holts learn valuable lessons about gambling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:19:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16132379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasersheith/pseuds/lasersheith
Summary: Matt loses a bet and his dignity. Forced into a duck costume, he attracts some unwanted attention.“So is this like a weird sex thing? Is this your furry suit?” Lance asked with a raised eyebrow as he leaned in to see Matt’s face better.Matt cocked his head back in shock and disdain. “What? No! God. I lost a bet.”Lance crossed his arms and raised one hand to his chin in thought. “So if your fursona is a duck, does that make you a furry or a… feathery?” He hummed pensively.Matt’s face went on a journey. From shock, to horror, to grief, to disgust, it traveled quickly as his mind processed. Regardless of his instant attraction, he knew he couldn’t sit back and allow himself to be insulted. “Look, I’m not a… whatever. At least I’m not out here unironically wearing plum-smugglers.” It was difficult to cross his arms attached as they were to feathery wings and he was sure the result wasn’t quite as intimidating as he’d meant for it to be.





	Not All It's Quacked Up to Be

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the Latte "Espresso Shot" bang :) 
> 
> thanks so much to my amazing artists whose work you can view [here (ceciledraws on tumblr)](https://ceciledraws.tumblr.com/post/178575875337/my-piece-for-unofficial-lattebang-this-is-for-an) and [here (skattig on tumblr)](http://skattig.tumblr.com/post/179599293250/sweetest-boys-on-a-sweet-date-with-some-sweet-ass)

Running is boring. It’s an odd stance for a cross country runner to have, Lance would be the first to admit. He forgotten to charge his wireless headphones and they’d died 20 minutes into what was supposed to be a 10 mile run, training for the last big meet of the year.

He was bored out of his mind. At least during the competitions he had the crowd and the adrenaline and the other runners spurring him on, but the endless expanse of the trail in front of him just seemed to go on forever. How could any human be expected to run for 10 miles with only his own thoughts to occupy him? He decided a change of scenery would help, and turned off the trail back towards campus. 

Running around the pond was always fun, normally there were swans or ducks or people throwing a frisbee- something other than just dirt and trees. He rounded the corner out of the trail and back onto the road, squinting at the small pond off in the distance. Something… wasn’t quite right. He picked up the pace so he could see better before stopping short. 

_ What the hell is that guy doing? _ Lance thought, blinking hard in disbelief as he saw what he hoped was a fellow student, quacking at the edge of the pond wearing a duck costume.  _ College is weird. _

He walked a little closer, pulling his phone out of his armband and opening the camera. The image distorted as he zoomed in, giving the photo a grainy, Bigfoot feeling that just didn’t capture the essence of the scene. Stepping on the balls of his feet as quietly as he could manage, he inched closer. 

The guy was still waving his arms and quacking, looking to his right and sighing at a couple watching from a nearby hill. Making sure the shutter sound was muted, he snapped the picture and uploaded it to instagram. “Nature is incredible sometimes.” He captioned it, laughing at his own brilliance. 

He realized his mistake as soon as the duck man turned around.

* * *

Matt wasn’t really having the greatest day. 

It started off fine; He was filled with pride for Pidge and Hunk as they walked into his room with their graded finals held high. Hunk’s had a bright red “99% Good work” on it and Pidge had the ever-illusive 100. Iverson’s neat and (unfortunately) familiar writing covered the entire top margin: EXCELLENT. Matt grinned and congratulated them, but as he saw the hand hidden behind Hunk’s back, his stomach and his grin dropped through the floor. 

The bet.

He’d completely forgotten about the bet. They hadn’t made terms, because Matt was sure neither of them would get higher than his 98% two years ago. Matt was beholden to whatever torture they had managed to concoct, having agreed to  _ whatever you guys want, because it isn’t happening _ . Hunk pulled his hand out from behind his back, revealing some kind of yellow, feathery abomination and held it towards Matt’s chest as Pidge explained. 

“You get to wear this! For an hour! At the pond!” She exclaimed between giggles. 

Matt took the weird fabric and held it up. “I have to… go to the pond dressed as a duck?” Matt asked. 

Pidge held her sides and gestured to Hunk to finish the explanation. “Yeah, yup. And you have to quack. Like really get in there and establish dominance over those pond-ducks. You’re the alpha duck!” He held his open hand up in front of his face and rapidly flapped his mimed bill. 

Matt sighed, internally cursing himself for his hubris. It was a lesson he’d be sure to remember. “I have another final tomorrow, so I can’t do a full hour. 45 minutes is all you’re getting out of me. I gotta study.” He turned to go to the bathroom and change while Pidge and Hunk high-fived. 

They headed down to the pond when Matt was suited up. Everyone they passed stopped and stared or laughed. Matt hung his head and waddled after his sister and her boyfriend, equal parts impressed with and furious over the clever design that forced the uncomfortable gait.

After the long, humiliating walk, he squared his shoulders and proceeded to do his best, just like his mother taught him. Though, he couldn’t imagine her being very proud of the results of her excellent parenting right at that moment. Hunk and Pidge made it infinitely worse as they sat on the hill to his right, laughing intermittently and whispering to each other. 

He cringed as he heard his sister call out in her worst Italian accent. “HEY DUCK!” Hunk was already struggling to not roll down the hill. 

“YA NO GOOD, DUCK!” She wailed again in between her giggles. 

Hunk righted himself and weakly called, “You’ll never be shit!” as he grabbed at his aching sides. 

“YA JUST. LIKE. YA FATHAH!” She finished in another burst of laughter that set Hunk off again and soon they were grabbing onto each other to stay upright. 

He groaned. “Our dad is great! So, you know. I’m glad!” He responded, winged arms resting on his hips. 

Pidge flipped him off. “Get back to quacking! You still have 20 minutes!” Matt rolled his eyes and turned around.

“Wait, is it still flipping the bird? Or is it flipping… the duck?” Hunk asked as he wiped tears from his eyes. Pidge rested her head on his shoulder as she shook with more laughter.

Matt groaned again and elected to ignored them. A few less eventful moments went by as he continued quacking; the only saving grace of the situation was that it was still finals week and almost everyone was stuck inside studying. Or so he thought, until he heard a laugh behind him. He slowly turned and took in the source of the laughter. 

He wanted to be mad, but the sweat-soaked, skin-tight tank top and teeny tiny shorts captivated all of his attention for a moment. He swallowed hard. “Oh god, please tell me you didn’t just take a picture.” He squeaked out when he saw the phone in the runner’s hand. 

“Ha, I’d love to tell you that, but I don’t like lying. Especially not to ducks.” He said with another laugh as he crossed his arms. 

Matt gaped his mouth open and closed a few times, trying to figure out how to respond, but his vocal chords wouldn’t cooperate.

“So is this like a weird sex thing? Is this your furry suit?” Lance asked with a raised eyebrow as he leaned in to see Matt’s face better.

Matt cocked his head back in shock and disdain. “What? No! God. I lost a  _ bet. _ ” 

Lance crossed his arms and raised one hand to his chin in thought. “So if your fursona is a duck, does that make you a furry or a… feathery?” He hummed pensively. 

Matt’s face went on a journey. From shock, to horror, to grief, to disgust, it traveled quickly as his mind processed. Regardless of his instant attraction, he knew he couldn’t sit back and allow himself to be insulted. “Look, I’m not a… whatever. At least I’m not out here unironically wearing plum-smugglers.” It was difficult to cross his arms attached as they were to feathery wings and he was sure the result wasn’t quite as intimidating as he’d meant for it to be. 

Lance gaped at him and turned to the side, hand over the crotch of his small running shorts. “Hey! Don’t look at my plums!” He cried indignantly. It was Matt’s turn to smirk as Lance flushed. Matt made a point of leaning and staring at the expanse of skin the shorts revealed at his upper thigh. “Hey, you’re the weird one here, not me! Quit it!”

Matt laughed. “Yeah ok.” He replied sarcastically. A beeping noise from somewhere in the suit drew his attention and he reached inside to silence it. “Alright cool, I’m done here. Go enjoy your technically-not-public-indecency run!” He waved a feathered arm as he walked towards the couple cackling on the hill. 

“Enjoy your migration!” Lance called after him, determined to get the last word. 

Matt shook his head but didn’t turn around. “Hope you brought bandaids for all the chafing!” He yelled over his shoulder as he continued his slow shuffle up the hill, already pulling back the hood part of the costume. 

Lance groaned, partially at the unpleasant thought of chafing and partially for the pun he was already ashamed of. “Well see ya  _ nest  _ time, weirdo!” He yelled back. 

“Don’t you have a ping pong tournament to get to? Get running!” He finally turned around and smiled as he answered. Lance swallowed hard as he actually looked at the person he was bantering with. The genuine smile caught him off guard, as did the handsome face surrounded by messy blond hair. 

Matt waited a moment for him to respond before turning around and heading back towards the dorm. Lance blinked a few times and shook his head.  _ Nope. No way. I do  _ **_not_ ** _ have a crush on a random  _ **_mean_ ** _ guy I met dressed like a duck. Even if he was fun to argue with and had really pretty eyes and his hair looked really soft…  _ Lance groaned again as his own thoughts betrayed him.

He looked up at the sky as if it held the answer to his predicament. All it held were fluffy white clouds that reminded him he should be training or studying, not standing in the grass at the edge of the pond thirsting after duck-guy. He took off running again and ended up still beating his goal pace, even with the major distraction throwing off his rhythm. 

* * *

Saturday night after the last track meet of the year and after spring finals were finally over was shaping up to be one of the best nights of Lance’s first year of college. He buzzed around from table to table, making new friends and talking to old ones, doing his best to hide the stamp on his hand marking him under 21 with the sleeves of his jacket. 

He saw a pair of familiar faces from his circuits class at a table in the corner and went to go say hello. “No, oh my god. The baby ducklings were my favorite part! I was really hoping the mom would come by and he'd have to fight her!” Pidge said with a burst of laughter, wild gesticulations almost knocking over her drink. 

“Wait, are you guys talking about the dude dressed as a duck?” Lance asked in surprise. He'd been monitoring the comments and likes on his post all week hoping the guy would step in and try to defend himself, but to no avail. 

Hunk smiled at him and scooted over so he could take a seat. “Ooooh yeah. Funniest thing I've ever seen in my life, man. You guys yelling at each other was just…” he kissed the ends of his fingertips and brought them away from his face. “The whole thing was incredible.” 

Lance smiled as he sat down. He didn't know either of them very well, but they were in class together and had hung out a few times so he figured they were close enough to friends. “Yeah it was pretty funny. I didn't get a good look at him, but he seems like he'd be a total babe without the costume. I don't suppose either of you have his number?” 

Hunk put his face over his hands to hold back giggles. Pidge glared hard at him from across the table. “Uh wow, ok, weird. Also, that's my  _ brother _ . He isn't a babe, and he has standards, so even if I gave you his number, there's no way he'd go out with you.” She answered, crossing her arms over her chest in a huff. 

Lance balked. “Whatever, we totally had a thing going on. And I'm a total catch!” He protested. 

Pidge looked at him and adjusted her glasses. “Fine. Let's make a bet.” She steepled her fingers with her arms resting on the table.

Lance slapped his hands down on the cheap plastic and looked her in the eyes. “Ok, you're on! What are the terms?” He asked confidently. 

Hunk looked between them. “Uh, Pidge, pumpkin. Pudding. Lambchop. Maybe making more bets isn't a great idea. The whole thing about quitting while you’re ahead.” He said nervously. 

She silenced him with a harsh look before turning back to Lance. “I'll text him right now and ask if he'd ever consider going out with you.” She said with a smirk. 

Lance raised an eyebrow. “And  _ when  _ he says yes, he'd love to?”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “More like  _ when  _ he says no way, that guy's a total loser,” she started with a feral grin. “You have to wear the duck costume and livestream the whole thing. If he  _ somehow _ says yes and brings dishonor on our household, I will.” She stuck her hand out for Lance to shake.

Lance took it and pumped her smaller hand once firmly. “You're on! But I get to approve the text before you send it!” 

She nodded in agreement. “Hey, you remember that runner guy you saw while you were learning never to doubt me? Would you consider dating him?” She read aloud as she typed. 

Lance hummed in thought as he considered. Finally, he nodded his approval when he couldn't think of anything to add. 

The reply came back in less than a minute. “idk he was hot bt seemed kinda dumb” Lance grabbed the phone as Pidge read the message, giggling. He frowned as the next message came in. “might hook up w him tho lmao” another came before Lance could properly articulate his outrage. “also I defo ned a ride back from ato vvv drink” 

He handed the phone back with his head hung low. It stung more than he cared to admit. “Fine. When are we doin’ this?” He grumbled. 

* * *

Matt opened a bleary eye at 10am on Sunday as a notification went off on his phone. The screen lit up with a message from Pidge, “Get on my Twitch stream right now.” He blinked and opened the app as he stood and stretched. His sister's smiling face greeted him. “Hello viewers, today we're taking a little break from the normal flow of my channel.” She switched to the rear camera and Matt laughed as he saw some other poor sap in the duck suit.  _ She’s really trying to get her money's worth _ . He mused to himself as Pidge continued. “It's time for a little nature documentary.” 

It was hard to brush his teeth as he laughed at the screen. He felt almost cruel, getting so much enjoyment from watching someone else go through the same painful ordeal he had. Not cruel enough to stop, though.

“Ok, haha Pidge, how much longer are you gonna stream?” A familiar voice demanded from inside the suit.

_ Oh shit, it’s that guy... _ He finished brushing, threw on some deodorant and clean clothes, and hurried out the door. 

Matt didn’t usually regret the end of semester parties, even if he ended up drinking a little too much, but as he jogged across campus with a pounding head and queasy stomach, he vowed to never drink again. He squinted against the harsh morning sunlight, hands on his knees as he gasped for breath in front of Lance.  

Lance looked over at him and put his feathery arms on his hips. “Oh great, first you call me dumb and break my heart and now you're here to make fun of me!” His brows furrowed into a harsh glare and his lips curled down into a pout.  

“Katie, stop recording.” He said breathlessly, turning towards his sister with a frown.  

She pointed the camera towards him and smirked, raising an eyebrow. “I think not, Matticus. Do you have something you'd like the internet to know?” 

Matt rolled his eyes. Pledge week his freshman year had beaten out any capacity he might have once had for shame, so he ignored the camera, took a deep breath, and stood, looking Lance in the eyes. “I'm sorry about what I said last night. I didn't mean it.” 

“Which part?” Lance’s pout deepend even further. “And why should I believe you?” 

It was hard to maintain an air of apology trying not to laugh at an adorable pouting duck, but Matt tried his best. “Ok look, drunk Matt is a dirty slut and not to be trusted.” He admitted with a cringe. “But I don't think you're dumb. Your jokes were funny and witty, and I was kind of hoping you were gonna say something when I left but you didn't.” 

Lance dropped his hands and his jaw followed. “So wait, you  _ do _ wanna go out?” He asked, still gaping. 

Matt laughed and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck as he blushed. “I mean, yeah. If you still want to.” He wrinkled his nose. “You… you have to change first, though.” 

Lance whooped loudly and pumped a feathered-fist in the air before turning back to Pidge. “You know what this means!” He said with an evil grin. 

Matt raised an eyebrow. “...shit.” Pidge murmured and went pale. 

“Duck shit, to be more precise!” He said triumphantly as he peeled off the suit. He handed it over to Pidge and stood barefoot in the grass in his athletic shorts and a tank top. “This revenge will be as sweet as the ice cream I'm gonna buy your brother later! Because I'm classy and romantic like that!” He taunted. He turned around to where Matt was standing with a wide, amused grin. “Unless you like, don't like ice cream or something?” Lance asked, confident voice suddenly falling quiet and flat with uncertainty.

Matt shook his head with a chuckle. “I love ice cream. Especially Marco’s.” He answered with a smile. 

Lance smiled back. “Ok, cool.” He said softly before wheeling around to Pidge again. “Yeah! We both like ice cream! So… so take that!” He knew it wasn’t his best taunt by any stretch, but the roiling excitement in his gut distracted him. 

Pidge sighed and handed the phone to Lance as she stepped into the costume and zipped it up. It was designed for an average-sized man and swallowed her tiny frame, she could have fit in it twice. She looked into the camera and adjusted her glasses through the division in the bill. “This is entirely Matt's fault, and he is now dead to me.”

“This is 100% on you, squirt. What did you guys even bet on?” Matt protested with another laugh. 

Lance looked over with a smug grin. “I asked her for your number and she said there was no way you'd go out with me.” He zoomed in on the way she kept almost tripping over the pooled fabric at her feet as she tried to walk. The ducks in the pond were used to rowdy students and didn't seem at all bothered as she walked up to the edge. 

Matt made an offended face. “Pidgeon! Did you see his legs? And hear those puns? Do you even know me at all?” He called after her. 

Her only answer was an extremely dissatisfied quack. 

* * *

Lance insisted on a brief detour to his dorm for him a change of clothes before they embarked on the short walk to the ice cream shop. His heart thudded in his chest as they walked and talked, conversation flowing from ducks, to school, to everything in between and beyond as their hands swung with their easy gait, knuckles lightly brushing every few moments. 

Before he could get up the courage to take Matt’s hand, they arrived at the cozy little shop a few blocks off campus. Lance insisted on paying for both the triple scoop chocolate brownie with rainbow sprinkles he ordered, and Matt's strawberry and banana hot fudge sundae with whipped cream. 

Matt smiled as Lance tucked his wallet away. “Ok, fine, but I'm getting next time. No arguing.” He shook a finger in Lance's direction as they sat down next to each other on the worn wooden bench outside.

Lance grinned wide around the spoonful in his mouth. “So you already want there to be a next time?” A few sprinkles dribbled off the end of his spoon onto his chin as he chuckled and pumped his eyebrows. 

Matt reached up and brushed them away without thinking. “Yeah. This is… it's fun.” He blushed faintly as Lance slid closer. 

“Cool.” His voice was soft and breathless. Emboldened by Matt’s admission, he held a spoonful up between them. “Want a bite?” He asked quietly, cheeks flushing as he shook the spoon. 

Matt eyes never left his as Matt leaned in and took the spoon into his mouth. He dragged the plastic slowly past his lips and hummed in contentment at the taste. Lance swallowed hard as he followed Matt's tongue sweeping across his lips to clear them of sprinkles. 

“That's pretty good.” Matt said with an approving smile before taking another bite of his own dessert. 

Lance cleared his throat, needing a moment to collect himself after the intensity of the moment. “Psh, more like amazing.” He looked away as he grumbled. 

“Nah I think it looked better on the picture.” Matt teased. Lance looked over at him suspiciously, waiting for a punchline. “I'm just saying, it's not all it's  _ quacked  _ up to be.” He finished with a wide grin. 

Lance groaned like he'd been kicked in the stomach, setting Matt off in laughing fit. “No! Oh my god, you're the worst!” He whined in mock-disgust. “Ugh you're never allowed to talk again. Talking privileges revoked.” 

Matt smirked at him. “Oh yeah? How exactly do you plan on keeping me from talking then?” The challenging glint in his eyes had Lance gulping again. 

He set his cup down beside him and wiped his hands on his jeans before turning back to Matt with a shy smile. “I really hope this is what you meant.” He whispered as he leaned in. 

Matt met him halfway and smiled into the gentle brush of sticky lips. He couldn't resist the urge to flick his tongue out for another taste of Lance's ice cream. Lance parted his lips and scooted even closer as they mixed the tastes of strawberry, chocolate, and banana together with the slow, easy kiss. Passersby completely forgotten, Matt tilted his head to deepen the kiss further and slid even closer. Before things could get too heated, Lance jumped back. 

Matt’s eyes widened in shock as he realized he’d inadvertently spilled the melted dregs of his treat down the front of Lance's shirt. Lance swung his arm out to inspect the damage and knocked his elbow into his own rapidly melting chocolate puddle. It teetered precariously before toppling all over his arm and he jumped up with a quiet curse.  

Matt leaned back and laughed as Lance frowned down in shock. He stomped back up to the counter and ripped a handful of napkins free from the dispenser to clean up the mess. “Ah man, what a disaster.” Lance grumbled as he scrubbed at his shirt. 

His hands stilled as Matt's covered them. He looked up into the shining hazel eyes across from his and his heart hammered again at the soft smile. “I dunno, doesn't seem like a disaster to me.” He whispered, barely inches from Lance's face again. “Seems more like a  _ quack- _ tastrophe.”

Lance closed his eyes and groaned again. Any snarky reply he might have been planning was quickly swallowed by another sugary-sweet kiss. 


End file.
